RealConvo Talk Away The Dark AFSP User Guide
- June 1, 2024
- RealConvo
Table of Contents
RealConvo Talk Away The Dark AFSP
Product Information
Specifications
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Product Name: RealConvo Guide
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Purpose: Provide guidance for having conversations about mental
health -
Website: afsp.org/TalkAwayTheDark
Reaching Out for Help
It can be hard to talk about your mental health, particularly if you’re
struggling. But reaching out for help by having a #RealConvo with someone in
your life is a necessary step to take in feeling better. It’s also a strong
thing to do.
Here is some straightforward guidance for having a conversation that can make
all the difference.
Product Usage Instructions
Get the Conversation Started
The best way to start a conversation about your mental health is by treating it as important. Begin by expressing your need to talk and suggesting a time to discuss.
The best way to broach the subject of your mental health with someone is to
treat it as something important. (Because it is!) You might say:
“Hey, there’s something I’d like to talk with you about. It’s kind of
important to me and I’m wondering if we can make some time.”
Schedule a Time
If the initial moment is not convenient, propose a specific time for the conversation. Respect the other person’s schedule and ensure they are available to engage in a meaningful discussion.
If that moment isn’t convenient for both of you, lock in a time.
“I’m wondering if you have a few minutes at lunchtime for us to talk today.”
“Is there a good time I might call you this evening?”
Don’t Give Up
Be patient if the other person is not immediately available. Understand that they may have their own concerns or may need time to prepare for the discussion.
Just because you’re ready to have a conversation, it doesn’t mean it will be convenient at that moment for the other person. This doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Keep in mind that just as others may not realize everything that’s going on with you, you also don’t know what may be on their minds at the moment.
If the person you first reach out to isn’t available, for whatever reason, try
someone else. And keep in mind – especially if you’re really struggling – that
help is always available, even if you’re not facing a serious or suicidal
crisis.
Call 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, a national network of
local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to
people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
in the United States. The Crisis Text Line (text TALK or AYUDA to 741-741) is
also available for anyone, and can connect you to help.
Face to Face (or Ear to Ear)
- Reflect on the duration of your mental health changes and consider factors that influence your symptoms. Share this information with your friend to help them understand and support you effectively.
- Explain what it is you’ve been experiencing – changes in your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, sleep, energy and mood. You might tell them you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, or like your usual coping strategies are barely working any more. You might also tell them that you’ve been “not feeling like your usual self,” or that you’re “having thoughts that are troubling to you.” (Keep in mind that it works both ways: just as situational stress can impact our mental health, sometimes our mental health can affect the way we are coping with a situation.)
- So as you’re explaining what’s been going on in your life, be sure to identify any changes in your mental health that you’re aware of, so your friend can understand the full picture. Talk about not only the things affecting you, but how they are affecting you. For example, instead of saying, “Work has been really stressful because my boss does x, y, z…” try to identify how the stress at work has been impacting your mood, anxiety, sleep, temper or frustration tolerance, substance use, and so on.
- It’s also helpful if you can look back and try to figure out how long the changes you’ve been experiencing have been going on. Did they happen gradually (over weeks to months), or more rapidly (hours to days)?
Bonus Round! You get extra credit if you can think about what’s tended to either help or worsen your mental health symptoms. This information will help your friend understand and support you, and together you might even be able to brainstorm some positive next steps to consider.
After the Convo
- Celebrate the fact that you had a #RealConvo about Your Mental Health. Remember that seeking help and discussing mental health is essential and demonstrates strength. You are not alone in facing mental health challenges.
- Now that you’ve opened yourself up in such a brave, strong way about what you’re experiencing, you might be feeling a little nervous.
- “What does this person think of me now?” “What if I’ve scared them away?” “Are they going to avoid me for now on?” Some folks call this a Vulnerability Hangover.
- What you might do, after the conversation has taken place, is to reach back out to them, thanking them for taking the time to speak, and letting them know, once again, how important the conversation was to you.
“Thank you for taking the time to speak with me the other day. It really was
important to me to let you know how I was feeling.”
“I appreciate your friendship, and that you were willing to have such a
personal conversation.”
Sometimes, no matter how willing a person is to have this kind of
conversation, and no matter how much they care about you, they may be scared
to reach back out, nervous about handling it in the right way. (Find practical
guidance on how anyone can have a #RealConvo with someone they’re concerned
about.) Reaching back out like this gives the other person an opportunity to
continue the dialogue with you going forward, and lets them know you’re not
avoiding the topic, yourself!
Congratulations! You’ve had a #RealConvo about Your Mental Health!
In the same way you speak up about your physical health, reaching out and
talking about your mental health is a very necessary, and strong, thing to do.
It’s hard to experience mental health issues such as depression or anxiety.
The good thing is, you never have to face anything alone.
Remember: help is always available.
FAQ
Q: How do I know if it’s the right time to have a #RealConvo?
A: Choose a time when both you and the other person can focus and have a private conversation. It’s important to ensure there are minimal distractions.
Q: What if the other person seems uninterested in discussing mental health?
A: Respect their boundaries and give them space. Reassure them that you are available whenever they feel comfortable talking.
Q: How can I support a friend who wants to have a #RealConvo with me?
A: Listen actively, offer empathy, and avoid judgment. Encourage your friend to express their feelings openly and provide reassurance that you are there for them.